Saturday, October 5, 2019

Scripts for Adulting


  1. Hello, I’ve been admitted to the 2019 class and I have a question about my high school grades. Can you help? My reference number is #######. * Get the dates and account numbers together ahead of time.
  2. I’m going to get a bad grade in a class, or possibly a withdrawal. * Just the facts! They don’t care what happened.
  3. will this affect my acceptance to university?
  4. does it make a difference if I take the bad grade or the withdrawal?
  5. are there recommended steps I should take?
  6. what was your name? * In case you need to explain where you got advice later.
  7. thank you!


I’ve found that writing little scripts like that really helped my kids with their adulting conversations as they went through high school and into college. My daughter was very upset about the class, but it wasn’t relevant to her major so there was no point in discussing how or why the bad grade was happening.

Plan out what you’ve got to say, plot a path that your own emotional hot buttons, and gather the stuff that you can anticipate needing.

It’s a useful tool for managers as well. Tough conversations are part of the career. If you go in prepared, they are a little less tough.


  1. the company is making a change. * Just the facts.
  2. what’s the reasoning, quick outline of process. * Why is this happening.
  3. how does it impact this team. * Most positive spin possible.
  4. how does it impact you. * Simply your opinion of the reasoning and outcome, and how you came to accept that it was acceptable. If it’s not acceptable, save that for the separate communication where you announce your resignation.
  5. summarize: what’s happening, impact to this team, what should everyone do next.


If you’ve got lots of time to prepare, you might even think through some likely interactions, but that can backfire by helping you spiral back into emotional territory. The goal is to be able to communicate the facts and save your feelings for a different conversation.